Thirst
by Blackrock Soldier
Summary: When Sips turns into something else, he struggles to keep it to himself. Sjips. / Yogscast fic.


When you look in the mirror, you're meant to see your own reflection staring back at you, but as I looked in the mirror; palms pressed against the glass, I saw nothing but the room around me. Scared as any person would have been, I went far too long trying to prove to myself I was just going crazy. That the mirror was lying to me as I smashed it into a billion pieces, but really,I just didn't want to worry Sjin by making up excuses to satisfy myself. And it worked for some time.

But then the thirst kicked in.

No matter how much I drank, I couldn't get rid of the dry feeling in my throat. It was like I had spent weeks in the desert without finding a single oasis, and yet, I still dragged on like nothing was wrong while simultaneously slipping away alone to dunk my head in the lake to keep myself at least a little bit sane. And again, it worked for awhile.

But then… then I noticed his neck.

The blood rushing. His heart pumping. For the first time, I knew exactly what could quench my aggravating thirst that had driven me to the point of insanity. My teeth ached, but with the absence of a reflection, I hadn't noticed the fangs that had grown in quite cleanly, or rather, I had ignored them even though I knew what I was becoming. What I had become.

There was no more restraint to keep pretending as I attacked and pushed Sjin to the ground as we traversed a cave all alone. I needed blood. I needed it more than his warmth. Bearing everything I tried to hide, he looked at me as I looked at him and for a moment, there was more clarity than I had had in months. Instead of fear, the expression he wore was more understanding than anything. His voice so very soothing. "You've changed a bit, haven't you Sipsy? You're different now."

All the irrational and predatory energy was draining all at once, but the thirst was still there, "Sjin… I'm so… I'm so fucking sorry for this."

Slowly shaking his head, I watched him pull his shirt away from his neck, "It's not your fault. If you're thirsty, drink. I'll let you do it. You don't have to feel guilty. Go on now."

My mind was screaming to back away. The remaining humanity tried to hold me back but the monster inside made me sink my fangs straight into his skin to drink the wonderful nectar that finally made everything okay. Drowning in my own self satisfaction, I almost forgot I was stealing the life of the man who willfully gave it to me.

He began gasping and pushing against me just enough to try and wake me up. "Sipsy… please… you're going to kill me… you have to stop now…"

I knew I needed to. I knew it more than anyone, but I was powerless against my own thirst. It had been so long since the dry feeling in my throat had disappeared. The blood that passed my lips was more important than any life at that moment. Even more than his.

Without even realizing it, I was going to go too far. Draining his body to complete myself was going to be my decision, but his decision would be to shove me off. To save us both. He knew that I would be hurt at his blatant disgust and fear, but it needed to happen. If I really would have been given the chance to eat him, I would have never recovered.

My back hit the ground, and blood fell from my lips. If I would have been altogether then, I may have complained about the pain, but I sat up with nothing but the need to go back for more. We looked at each other once again, and all of a sudden every need to feed finally fell away.

Seeing him shaking in fear as he held his hand over the bite marks with blood running through his fingers, I felt more grief and guilt than ever before. He had given me everything I needed, and yet, I took advantage of that. Almost killed him. "Sjin… Fuck, I-"

"Don't," He said, still visibly shaken, but trying to not seem scared. "It's not your fault… It's not-"

I crawled back towards him. "But it is. You're-"

"No, don't come over here. I'm okay. Everything is okay."

"But, Sjin, I-"

"Please!"

And at that moment, I realized the source of the shaking. Sure, I had bitten him and almost taken his life but he could have recovered. He could have lived normally once again as I ran away from him in shame, but things had gone too far. I had changed him and as he had screamed out for me to stay back, I could clearly see the fangs of a newly turned victim. "Oh no…. no no no… This is all my fault…. It's all my fucking fault!"

"Stop, Sips! Stop! Don't look!" he screamed, as I reached for him; pulling his hand away from his neck, and as I feared, there were no marks to be found. He had healed completely.

Looking from there to his face that fell pale, I was the one who was shaking as tears fell from my eyes, "This wasn't supposed to happen. I swear if I would have known, I would have endured my thirst. Sjin… I'm so, so fucking sorry for this. D-don't worry, alright? I'm gonna take you to Lalna and see if he can-"

No." His eyes shook as they changed from brown to a menacing glowing yellow, "It's really not your fault…"

"You keep saying that! You keep repeating those words, But, I- I!-

Laying his hand on my cheek, he gave me a smile that was torn between happiness and sadness. So many of his emotions were twisting together as he tried to fight through the pain of becoming something completely new. "I chose to let you do this to me. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. Listen, Sipsy, I couldn't let you live on alone. Not when everyone else is gone. Do you understand? Do you see? Now we can deal with this thing together. Forever."

"You…" I cried once again, but at the same time, a sad smile was plastered on my face,"You big dumb dumb."

"I'd do anything for you, Sipsy, but to be completely honest, I'm losing my mind a bit here. If you could just let me sink my teeth into your neck right quick, that would be great. My throat is killing me."

**A/N:**_ If you've been around a bit, you might know I love the AU that Sips is a vampire. It's been forever since I've written a Vampire!Sips story, but nonetheless, It's still one of my favorite things in the whole world and you should love it too. (I mean, if you really want to. No h8 from me m8.) I love your face, and I'm always happy that you've taken the time to read what I write. It's always appreciated. 3_


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